Today I am away from my home of Miami, Florida and away from my little boy. My boss sent me off to Los Angles, California to attend a work function. It’s not my first time spending the night away from my child, but it never seems to get easier. I keep thinking about those big beautiful brown eyes of his and how they greet me so lovingly every evening when I get home from work. If I could spend every second of my day with him and never let him out of my sight, it would be perfect. I can’t help but feel guilty for being away from him. I hardly get enough time and I feel like before I can even blink my eyes, he’ll be all grown up and I would have missed 90% of him growing up. It’s almost like his grandmother is the one raising him and not me. I hope he never holds my lack of time with him against me and that he understands I do it all for him. More importantly, I hope he never loses the love in his eyes for me. It would break my heart. This particular trip is only for one night and I’ll be back at home with my little one by tomorrow night. It’s just a little anxiety. I’m sure I’ll survive besides, I’m on vacation all next week so its going to be major bonding time for me and my almond joy (as I like to call him).
So here I am. Almost 3,000 miles away from home in a lonely hotel room in downtown Los Angeles. I’m officially no longer a “LA Virgin”. I’ve made my first visit and am surprised to learn it’s not the warm state I thought it was. According to my phone, the current temperature is 64 degrees and according to my eyes, the skies are a bit dark and cloudy. That’s cold! Especially to someone who’s been living in Miami for the last 12 years. When I left Miami this morning, the temperature was already at 70 degrees and increasing by the minute. My good friend, Google, tells me it’s currently 84 degrees. That’s 20 degrees warmer! Yes, I learned today that I’ve officially lost my “New Yorkness”. Gone. Out the window. At least when it comes to the weather, it has. Brrr. Where’s my sweater?
I wonder what Mason’s doing? He has no idea mommy is not coming home tonight. No idea mommy is 3,000 miles away thinking about him in her quiet, lonely hotel room complaining about the weather. She’s complaining about the cold in an effort to keep her mind focused on less important things and away from the fact that she misses her son. The truth is she’s using her complaint about the weather to mask her sadness. She’s trying desperately not to cry because she’s misses her son so badly.
My new blogging adventure has introduced me to a world of bloggers. I’ve truly discovered a whole new world; and in this new world exists an overflowing number of people with unique thoughts, ideas and lifestyles. Amazing what one can discover once they decide to embark on new territory.
Some of these people have amazing stories to tell. I introduce to you, AdoptiveBlockMom, one of my favorite writers in the blogging community. Here’s a story of an educated black woman just reaching her 40th year who wishes to be a mommy. She has chosen to take the adoption route. Kudos to her because I hear this can be quite difficult. Her blog tells of her journey to motherhood while at the same time working on completing her dissertation!
Unbeknownst to me, the desire for mommyhood thrives greatly among women over 30. There are many educated, beautiful, career-driven, single women who long to be mommies, but for some reason or another have not been privieged with this gift yet.
Check out AdoptiveBlackMom’s story by clicking on the link below.
Yes! It’s finally Friday! This is the day of the week I’ve been looking forward to since…well, all week! Not only is it Friday, but it’s also payday. I’m going to live it up tonight, have some drinks with friends and go club hopping all night and then I think I’ll do it again on Saturday. Yes?
No. That’s not my life anymore. That was before Mason.
So what are my real plans for tonight and the rest of the weekend, you ask? The truth is I’m not sure. You’d think with me being so excited about Friday I’d have alot lined up but I don’t. I’m just excited for a weekend spent the majority of the time at home with my 11 month old best friend. I’m excited about a little extra sleep (if I’m lucky). I’m excited about possibly getting some laundry done and finally having some time to wash my hair. Most of all, I’m excited about spending some quality time with my little one.
As a full-time single mom and grad student, I don’t get to spend very much time with Mason during the week. My weekends are a blessing and I cherish them. Weekends give me moments that if I lose, I can never get back again. I will seize these moments in the company of my son and embellish them with the beauty that is Mason.
So when they ask, “Can you get a babysitter for tonight?” The answer is probably yes, I just don’t want to.
Self Magazine recently published an interesing article titled, 13 Ways to be Bold. The article lists 13 different acts of boldness taken on by real women. Of particular interest to me was bold act number 4, I had a Baby on My Own – on Purpose. A Philadelphia woman in her late 20s describes how she made the decision to have a baby on her own and become a single parent.
So I’m not the only crazy one in the world! Other people have done this!
The word “Bold” is an adjective descibing a “fearless and daring act which requires and exhibits courage and bravery.”
What do you guys think? How true to this definition is choice mommyhood? Do you think it’s fearless and daring or do you think we’re just crazy?