My new blogging adventure has introduced me to a world of bloggers. I’ve truly discovered a whole new world; and in this new world exists an overflowing number of people with unique thoughts, ideas and lifestyles. Amazing what one can discover once they decide to embark on new territory.
Some of these people have amazing stories to tell. I introduce to you, AdoptiveBlockMom, one of my favorite writers in the blogging community. Here’s a story of an educated black woman just reaching her 40th year who wishes to be a mommy. She has chosen to take the adoption route. Kudos to her because I hear this can be quite difficult. Her blog tells of her journey to motherhood while at the same time working on completing her dissertation!
Unbeknownst to me, the desire for mommyhood thrives greatly among women over 30. There are many educated, beautiful, career-driven, single women who long to be mommies, but for some reason or another have not been privieged with this gift yet.
Check out AdoptiveBlackMom’s story by clicking on the link below.
Yes! It’s finally Friday! This is the day of the week I’ve been looking forward to since…well, all week! Not only is it Friday, but it’s also payday. I’m going to live it up tonight, have some drinks with friends and go club hopping all night and then I think I’ll do it again on Saturday. Yes?
No. That’s not my life anymore. That was before Mason.
So what are my real plans for tonight and the rest of the weekend, you ask? The truth is I’m not sure. You’d think with me being so excited about Friday I’d have alot lined up but I don’t. I’m just excited for a weekend spent the majority of the time at home with my 11 month old best friend. I’m excited about a little extra sleep (if I’m lucky). I’m excited about possibly getting some laundry done and finally having some time to wash my hair. Most of all, I’m excited about spending some quality time with my little one.
As a full-time single mom and grad student, I don’t get to spend very much time with Mason during the week. My weekends are a blessing and I cherish them. Weekends give me moments that if I lose, I can never get back again. I will seize these moments in the company of my son and embellish them with the beauty that is Mason.
So when they ask, “Can you get a babysitter for tonight?” The answer is probably yes, I just don’t want to.
Self Magazine recently published an interesing article titled, 13 Ways to be Bold. The article lists 13 different acts of boldness taken on by real women. Of particular interest to me was bold act number 4, I had a Baby on My Own – on Purpose. A Philadelphia woman in her late 20s describes how she made the decision to have a baby on her own and become a single parent.
So I’m not the only crazy one in the world! Other people have done this!
The word “Bold” is an adjective descibing a “fearless and daring act which requires and exhibits courage and bravery.”
What do you guys think? How true to this definition is choice mommyhood? Do you think it’s fearless and daring or do you think we’re just crazy?
What is “single-mommingly” and what does it mean? Well, it’s a word I completely made up! Duh! And here follows an explanation of how my genius and creative mind came up with the word.
As defined by Wikipedia.com:
(Not the preferred source of information for school papers I know, but it works for my purpose.)
A single parent, “is a parent, not living with a spouse or partner, who has most of the day-to-day responsibilities in raising the child or children. A single parent is usually considered the primary caregiver, meaning the parent the children have residency with the majority of the time.”
As defined by Merriam-Webster Onling Dictionary:
Single-Handedly is an adverb used to describe the management or doing by one person alone, without the assistance of others.
I am a single parent who single-handedly manages and is responsible for the day-to-day responsibilities in raising a child. I am a single-mom.
Having a child changes you. It especially changes how you make decisions. The way I make decisions have absolutely changed since I gave birth to my son. Before Mason if I woke up in the morning too tired to go to work well, I just didn’t go. If I didn’t want to pay a credit card bill, I just didn’t pay it. And if I wanted to stay out all night drinking and partying with friends, damn it! I did it! Of little concern to me was what the results of my decision would be. I’d be the only one impacted by them, anyway. My decisions affected no one else but me. If I lost my job, so what? I’d just get a new one. If I got reported to collections and my credit score went down, so what? It wouldn’t be the first time. And if I woke up with a terrible hangover, so what? Perfect excuse to stay home and sleep all day.
I must have pressed the snooze button three times before I officially got up for work this morning. I needed more sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to work but then I remembered my drive home with Mason last night.
We had just left a friend’s house. It must have been close to ten o’clock at night. Way past Mason’s bedtime. He was tired and cranky. Imagine feeling that way and having to ride home in a rear-facing infant seat inside a low-lit car. Oh, the cruelties that babies must endure! I hate it when he cries while I’m driving. It makes me so nervous and there’s not much I can do for him while I’m driving. I extended my right arm to the back seat and offered him my hand. His chubby little fingers quickly grabbed tight hold of mine and his cries were instantly hushed. I drove the rest of the way home like this. One hand on the steering wheel and the other behind me held captive by his small needy hands. He fell asleep this way.
That memory came to me this morning when I considered for a moment not going in to work today. This boy needs me. He relies on me to keep him safe…to keep him fed…to keep him healthy. I can’t chance losing my job.
He relies on me. Wow. And with that, I immediately got my lazy a$$ out of bed and started to get ready for work.
That’s him. That’s my little one, Mason, enjoying his first time ever at My Gym located in Coral Gables, FL . We thought we’d do something different this weekend and interact with other kids. Besides, Latin radio station, Amor 107.5FM and BeechNut Goya baby foods were hosting a special event there! Maybe I could win that $500.00 raffle they mentioned they were having!
We didn’t win the raffle but Mason had a good 1 hour and a half.