Today I am away from my home of Miami, Florida and away from my little boy. My boss sent me off to Los Angles, California to attend a work function. It’s not my first time spending the night away from my child, but it never seems to get easier. I keep thinking about those big beautiful brown eyes of his and how they greet me so lovingly every evening when I get home from work. If I could spend every second of my day with him and never let him out of my sight, it would be perfect. I can’t help but feel guilty for being away from him. I hardly get enough time and I feel like before I can even blink my eyes, he’ll be all grown up and I would have missed 90% of him growing up. It’s almost like his grandmother is the one raising him and not me. I hope he never holds my lack of time with him against me and that he understands I do it all for him. More importantly, I hope he never loses the love in his eyes for me. It would break my heart. This particular trip is only for one night and I’ll be back at home with my little one by tomorrow night. It’s just a little anxiety. I’m sure I’ll survive besides, I’m on vacation all next week so its going to be major bonding time for me and my almond joy (as I like to call him).
So here I am. Almost 3,000 miles away from home in a lonely hotel room in downtown Los Angeles. I’m officially no longer a “LA Virgin”. I’ve made my first visit and am surprised to learn it’s not the warm state I thought it was. According to my phone, the current temperature is 64 degrees and according to my eyes, the skies are a bit dark and cloudy. That’s cold! Especially to someone who’s been living in Miami for the last 12 years. When I left Miami this morning, the temperature was already at 70 degrees and increasing by the minute. My good friend, Google, tells me it’s currently 84 degrees. That’s 20 degrees warmer! Yes, I learned today that I’ve officially lost my “New Yorkness”. Gone. Out the window. At least when it comes to the weather, it has. Brrr. Where’s my sweater?
I wonder what Mason’s doing? He has no idea mommy is not coming home tonight. No idea mommy is 3,000 miles away thinking about him in her quiet, lonely hotel room complaining about the weather. She’s complaining about the cold in an effort to keep her mind focused on less important things and away from the fact that she misses her son. The truth is she’s using her complaint about the weather to mask her sadness. She’s trying desperately not to cry because she’s misses her son so badly.
Single Mommingly Yours, M.