Monthly Archives: August 2013

What happened to my newborn!??!

If you’ve been paying attention to Mason’s birthday countdown I have posted on the right side of this blog’s home page, then you know we’re only 14 days away from his big day.

What happened to my newborn?

I remember the day I first met my precious little boy clearly. I keep thinking it was only yesterday, but it’s been almost a full year. He came on the day I precisely hoped he wouldn’t come…September 11th! Of all days THAT’s the day he had to come! My stubborn little boy was already disobeying his momma even as a newborn. Should I have translated this stubbornness as a subtle hint to what I should expect life to be like with my child? If so, God help me.

Sunday night, September 9, 2012.

It was my first weekend of my maternity leave and I was sitting at home watching an episode of Long Island Medium. It was Season 3, Episode 1 to be exact; the season premiere episode when Theresa Caputo’s son comes home from college. That’s when my contractions started. I ignored them at first, thinking they were just another bout of braxton hicks. I was wrong. These were about to become the real thing. These contractions went on throughout the whole night. They weren’t painful…yet. I was able to sleep through it with a little discomfort.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I woke up the next morning to realize the contractions hadn’t stopped. My sister and I timed the contractions. They were 10 minutes apart. Was it time? Should I be rushing to the hospital? Should I call my doctor first? Do I have to wait for my water to break? I consulted with my other sister in New York who as a mom of three kids, was a pro on these matters. “You should go see your doctor” she said. And that’s what I did. At the doctor’s office they lay me down on a bed and strapped this belt-like contraption around my waist. The “belt” was full of wires which were hooked up to a machine that would monitor my contractions and identify if these were labor contractions and if I was in fact, about to go into labor. The machine confirmed I was having contractions, but I still had a ways to go before labor would begin. “Come back when your contractions are five minutes apart” is what the nurse said. So with that, I returned home and waited.

Okay, Mason. If you’re not coming today then you better as hell not come tomorrow! You’re going to have to wait until the 12th.

Monday night, September 10, 2012 (It was really early Tuesday morning, September 11, 2012)

Never had I known pain like that in my life! The horror stories I’d heard were true! At a little past 1:00am Tuesday morning, the contractions started coming in at full force. And DAMN did it hurt! My sister can tell you because she fearlessly served as my punching bag that evening/morning. I’m sure I left a couple of bruises on her arm. The contractions were now at 5 minutes apart. In my opinion, it was time to go. “Take me to the hospital!” I yelled, but my mom thought it would be best for me to wait it out at home for as long as I could. She claimed I’d be much more comfortable going through these contractions in my own bed then I would be in a hospital bed. She was wrong. I had a plan. “Take me to the hospital!” I repeated over and over again until finally my words were taken seriously.

After some monitoring of my contractions and a few more bruises (this time at the mercy of my mother), I was admitted in and transferred to a delivery room. “Do you want an epi…” I didn’t even let the nurse finish her question. This had been part of my plan. “Yes! I want an epidural! Give it to me now!” The nurse kindly obliged and in an instant, I was put out of my misery. I slept all the way to the morning in that hospital bed. Like a baby. My mother was wrong. I was ten times more comfortable here than I would have ever been in my own bed. Ahhhhh…the miracle of drugs.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

At approximately 11:00am the nurse announced I was fully dialated and it was time. In came the doctor. I’ll spare you from the details of my labor, but I’ll tell you it only took half an hour of me pushing the little guy out. He was born at 11:36am. September 11, 2012.

Whew! THAT was a year ago. My completely helpless little baby is now an independent little person walking around and throwing tantrums every minute that he can.

And so I ask again, What happened to my newborn?

Single Mommingly Yours, M

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Introducing: AdoptiveBlackMom

My new blogging adventure has introduced me to a world of bloggers. I’ve truly discovered a whole new world; and in this new world exists an overflowing number of people with unique thoughts, ideas and lifestyles. Amazing what one can discover once they decide to embark on new territory.

Some of these people have amazing stories to tell. I introduce to you, AdoptiveBlockMom, one of my favorite writers in the blogging community. Here’s a story of an educated black woman just reaching her 40th year who wishes to be a mommy. She has chosen to take the adoption route. Kudos to her because I hear this can be quite difficult. Her blog tells of her journey to motherhood while at the same time working on completing her dissertation!

Unbeknownst to me, the desire for mommyhood thrives greatly among women over 30. There are many educated, beautiful, career-driven, single women who long to be mommies, but for some reason or another have not been privieged with this gift yet.

Check out AdoptiveBlackMom’s story by clicking on the link below.

AdoptingBlackMom’s story

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Mason and Mickey. Playtime.

Mason and Mickey. Playtime.

Mickey (my yorkie) is still trying to get used to the idea that he is not mommy’s little boy anymore, but Mason still tries to win his love.

My Friday as a single mom

Yes! It’s finally Friday! This is the day of the week I’ve been looking forward to since…well, all week! Not only is it Friday, but it’s also payday.  I’m going to live it up tonight, have some drinks with friends and go club hopping all night and then I think I’ll do it again on Saturday.  Yes? 

No. That’s not my life anymore.  That was before Mason.

So what are my real plans for tonight and the rest of the weekend, you ask? The truth is I’m not sure.  You’d think with me being so excited about Friday I’d have alot lined up but I don’t.  I’m just excited for a weekend spent the majority of the time at home with my 11 month old best friend.  I’m excited about a little extra sleep (if I’m lucky).  I’m excited about possibly getting some laundry done and finally having some time to wash my hair. Most of all, I’m excited about spending some quality time with my little one. 

As a full-time single mom and grad student, I don’t get to spend very much time with Mason during the week.  My weekends are a blessing and I cherish them.  Weekends give me moments that if I lose, I can never get back again.  I will seize these moments in the company of my son and embellish them with the beauty that is Mason.   

So when they ask, “Can you get a babysitter for tonight?”  The answer is probably yes, I just don’t want to.

Singly mommingly yours, M.

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Choice mommyhood. Is it “fearless and daring”?

Choice mommyhood. Is it “fearless and daring”?

Self Magazine recently published an interesing article titled, 13 Ways to be Bold. The article lists 13 different acts of boldness taken on by real women.  Of particular interest to me was bold act number 4, I had a Baby on My Own – on Purpose.  A Philadelphia woman in her late 20s describes how she made the decision to have a baby on her own and become a single parent.

So I’m not the only crazy one in the world! Other people have done this!

The word “Bold” is an adjective descibing a “fearless and daring act which requires and exhibits courage and bravery.”

What do you guys  think?  How true to this definition is choice mommyhood?  Do you think it’s fearless and daring or do you think we’re just crazy?

Click on the link below to check out the Article
13 Ways to be Bold – Self Magazine

13 Ways to be bold

Aside

What is “single-mommingly” and what does it mean? Well, it’s a word I completely made up! Duh! And here follows an explanation of how my genius and creative mind came up with the word. As defined by Wikipedia.com: (Not the … Continue reading

Little Reminders

Having a child changes you.  It especially changes how you make decisions.  The way I make decisions have absolutely changed since I gave birth to my son.  Before Mason if I woke up in the morning too tired to go to work well, I just didn’t go.  If I didn’t want to pay a credit card bill, I just didn’t pay it.  And if I wanted to stay out all night drinking and partying with friends, damn it! I did it!  Of little concern to me was what the results of my decision would be.  I’d be the only one impacted by them, anyway.  My decisions affected no one else but me.  If I lost my job, so what?  I’d just get a new one.  If I got reported to collections and my credit score went down, so what?  It wouldn’t be the first time.  And if I woke up with a terrible hangover, so what?  Perfect excuse to stay home and sleep all day.

I must have pressed the snooze button three times before I officially got up for work this morning.  I needed more sleep.  The last thing I wanted to do was to go to work but then I remembered my drive home with Mason last night. 

We had just left a friend’s house.  It must have been close to ten o’clock at night.  Way past Mason’s bedtime.  He was tired and cranky.  Imagine feeling that way and having to ride home in a rear-facing infant seat inside a low-lit car.  Oh, the cruelties that babies must endure! I hate it when he cries while I’m driving.  It makes me so nervous and there’s not much I can do for him while I’m driving.  I extended my right arm to the back seat and offered him my hand.   His chubby little fingers quickly grabbed tight hold of mine and his cries were instantly hushed. I drove the rest of the way home like this.  One hand on the steering wheel and the other behind me held captive by his small needy hands.  He fell asleep this way.

That memory came to me this morning when I considered for a moment not going in to work today.  This boy needs me.  He relies on me to keep him safe…to keep him fed…to keep him healthy.  I can’t chance losing my job.

He relies on me. Wow.  And with that, I immediately got my lazy a$$ out of bed and started to get ready for work.

 

Single mommingly yours, M.