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"You'll be his first kiss, his first love, his first friend. You are his mommy and he is your whole world." ~ Unknown

“You’ll be his first kiss, his first love, his first friend. You are his mommy and he is your whole world.” ~ Unknown

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Mommy’s Away Traveling for Work Again

Today I am away from my home of Miami, Florida and away from my little boy.  My boss sent me off to Los Angles, California to attend a work function.  It’s not my first time spending the night away from my child, but it never seems to get easier.  I keep thinking about those big beautiful brown eyes of his and how they greet me so lovingly every evening when I get home from work.  If I could spend every second of my day with him and never let him out of my sight, it would be perfect. I can’t help but feel guilty for being away from him. I hardly get enough time and I feel like before I can even blink my eyes, he’ll be all grown up and I would have missed 90% of him growing up.  It’s almost like his grandmother is the one raising him and not me.  I hope he never holds my lack of time with him against me and that he understands I do it all for him.  More importantly, I hope he never loses the love in his eyes for me.  It would break my heart. This particular trip is only for one night and I’ll be back at home with my little one by tomorrow night.  It’s just a little anxiety.   I’m sure I’ll survive besides,  I’m on vacation all next week so its going to be major bonding time for me and my almond joy (as I like to call him).

So here I am.  Almost 3,000 miles away from home in a lonely hotel room in downtown Los Angeles.  I’m officially no longer a “LA Virgin”.  I’ve made my first visit and am surprised to learn it’s not the warm state I thought it was.  According to my phone, the current temperature is 64 degrees and according to my eyes, the skies are a bit dark and cloudy.  That’s cold!  Especially to someone who’s been living in Miami for the last 12 years. When I left Miami this morning, the temperature was already at 70 degrees and increasing by the minute. My good friend, Google, tells me it’s currently 84 degrees.  That’s 20 degrees warmer! Yes, I learned today that I’ve officially lost my “New Yorkness”.  Gone.  Out the window.  At least when it comes to the weather, it has.  Brrr. Where’s my sweater?

I wonder what Mason’s doing? He has no idea mommy is not coming home tonight.  No idea mommy is 3,000 miles away thinking about him in her quiet, lonely hotel room complaining about the weather.  She’s complaining about the cold in an effort to keep her mind focused on less important things and away from the fact that she misses her son. The truth is she’s using her complaint about the weather to mask her sadness. She’s trying desperately not to cry because she’s misses her son so badly.

Single Mommingly Yours,  M.

10 Reasons Why I Love Being a Choice Mom

On my drive home today from work I thought about my son. I thought about all the little things that make Mason, Mason and how I loved every single one of them.  This kid has truly been a blessing for me in every possible way and if driving didn’t require my keeping both hands on the steering wheel, I would have attempted to pat myself on the back for making such a great decision. 

Being a Choice Mom has undoubtedly worked out great for me.  It definitely has its advantages.  Allow me to share with you top 10 reasons why I love being a Choice Mom.  Just to mention a few…

10. “SingleChoiceMom” is a far more appealing username for social media than   “NotSureWhatIDrankThatNightAccidentalMom” would be.  As an English major, I’m not sure how comfortable I would feel about publicly displaying so many words bunched together without the use of any punctuation marks.  More importantly, finding a website that accommodates such a long username is probably close to impossible and if you do find one, it’s probably one you don’t to use anyway.

9.  I created a blog about it.    Yup! My life is interesting now.  I have something to write about.  I’d probably have something to write about if I was “NotSureWhatIDrankThatNightAccidentalMom” but then again, It’s possible I’d have some trouble remembering any of it so I’m glad I went the Choice Mom route. 

8.  Great conversation piece.  This worked amazingly well on a business conference I recently went to.  After 20 minutes of awkward silence among coworkers I rarely interact with: “Sooooo, I’m a choice mom.”  And immediately the questions started rolling in.  Random and unsual conservation starter, I know, but it works.  Don’t judge me.

7.  I can take all the credit for my child’s good looks.  Nobody knows what my baby’s father looks like so who else could rightfully take the credit for his “beautiful big eyes” and “full lips”?

6.  People think I’m fearless.  Obviously these people don’t know me very well.  I fear many things.  I am especially fearful of the big giant waterbug I saw in the back seat of my car.  I never saw the darn thing exit. I know one day it’s going to peek it’s ugly little head out at me while I’m driving.

5.  I make all the decisions.  I need not answer to or check with anyone when it comes to making decisions about Mason.  I chose to have him, I chose his name, I’ll decide what Religion he grows up practicing, what school he will go to, what state we will live in, what sports he will play… everything.  I decide EVERYTHING!  (Insert evil laugh here)

4.  Best excusable reason for always declining night-outs with friends.  Choice Mom means no dad every other weekend to come around and pick up Mason for two nights of freedom to go wild.  I have him EVERY weekend. 

3.  When Mason asks me about his father, I will only have positive things to say about him.  The truth is that without him, I could never have had my son.  So while he may not be in Mason’s life, he is my best friend and a wonderful man for having agreed give me the greatest gift anyone could ever receive.

2.  No baby daddy drama.  I hate the term “baby daddy” and you’ll probably never see me use it again, but it’s the only way I could put it on this list and get the point across quickly.  

and the number 1 reason I love being a Choice Mom is…drum roll please…

Mason.  Enough said.

 

Singly Mommingly Yours, M.

 

This Is How The Name You Choose For Your Child Today, Can Effect Him Tomorrow

It’s a sad world when you hear that a young girl chooses to change her name because she feels that the name her mother gave her hinders her life and what people think of her.  Here’s the story of a 19 year old teenager from Kansas City, MO who did just that.  According to news on Huffingtonpost.com, Keisha Austin, who is of biracial background recently had her name legally changed to Kylie Austin because she felt that her birth name held a negative stereotype about her that was not true.

Studies have been conducted that show that when applying for jobs, applicants from certain ethnic groups receive less callbacks from agencies then white applicants.  The applicants with strong ethnic sounding names on resumes often have a more difficult time finding a job.

How many of us truly think about how our children’s names will effect them in the future? Unless you’ve been living in a bubble your whole life, the information I’ve written about how employers perceive names, shouldn’t surprise you.  It certainly doesn’t surprise me, and it’s something I thought about seriously when I was pregnant with my own son.  I even had a long conversation about it with a coworker.”His first and middle name will be Mason Alexander,” I said. “It sounds nice and it gives no indication that he comes from an hispanic background.”

While I love and take pride in the fact that I am of Dominican-American descent, I understand that the world we live in is not perfect and racial discrimination does exist.  As a Single Choice Mom, I was able to give Mason my last name.  I’m thankful for this because it’s not the typical hispanic last name where one could immediately conclude that I am hispanic.  So hopefully when he gets older, employers will hire him based on his credentials and not his name.

Celebrities don’t seem to think about these things when naming their children (Maybe they don’t have to because they’re rich anyway), but how do most mommies decide on the names of their children?  Do you consider how their names will effect them in the future or is it not even a thought in your heads?  How did you come up with your child’s name?

Single Mommingly Yours, M

To read the article from the Huffington Post, click on the link below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/05/keisha-austin_n_4220259.html

Aside

Mason’s 1st birthday party was a success and thanks to Shutterfly.com I got the photobook full of pictures to prove it! I’ve built memories for Mason that will last him a lifetime! You’re all welcome to view the photobook I’ve just ordered for him.

Click on the link below to view the photobook.

Mason Alexander’s 1st Birthday!

Holiday Gift Exchange Idea for the Mom with a Tight Budget

Family Christmas gift exchange idea

Single mommies have tight budgets.  I know how it is.  You wish you could get a gift for every member of your family, but your budget doesn’t allow it, so you decide christmas presents only for the kids this year. 

Believe it or not, big kids aka “adults” also look forward to opening christmas presents on christmas morning…I know I do.  Why disappoint them this year?  

I have a large family. A few years back we discovered a great way to make sure every big kid in our family receives at least ONE gift by using Elfster.com.  Elfster is a free website that simplifies gift giving in more ways then one.  It’s fun and easy to use. 

The steps are simple.  First, create a group that includes all the people who would be participating in the gift exchange.  They will receive an email invitation asking them to accept.  Then, schedule a date when names will be drawn.  Elfter.com will draw the names automatically on the date you scheduled.  Each participant will receive an email with the name that was drawn for them and the gift buying process may begin.

Elfster is the perfect holiday entertaining game for friends and families, office parties and communities!  Its features include:

+ Universal wishlists

+ Anonymous Q&A (think “what is your favorite color?”)

+ Personalized gift recommendations

+ Activity updates, or “exchange feed”

+ Group discussions, and more.

 Make that “Big kid” in your family happy this year and start an online gift exchange, but remember to keep your secret Santa identity a secret!

 

Single Mommingly Yours, M

Mason’s birthday party

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Mason’s birthday party turned out great!  So many people showed up to help celebrate!  What an amazing feeling to know Mason is surrounded by so many people who love him.